Friday's thoughts!

How do you make a child do chores??? As I was pondering this question, I decided to try a different approach to get my daughter to do some chores around the house. While she does help out here, I was in a hurry to get everything done before I went to bed last night. As it usually goes, I get up early and work all day around the house, cook dinner, do laundry, etc., and I am usually the last person to bed. Not that I am complaining!! To her defense, she does clean her room and bathroom once a week, but the other chores are not usually done without a struggle of power. Yesterday, I went for a different approach. I asked for help and to my surprise, it worked. Not only did my daughter clean her room, she also took the birdcages out and cleaned them, actually bought her dirty laundry downstairs, and made the plates for dinner, and then she actually took the garbage out! And also to my surprise, after it was all finished, I did not get a bill for her services, but I did say thank you. I explained to her that when I was a kid her age, I was cleaning on a weekly basis without question and that was expected of me as a responsible member of a family. I also gave her an article to read off of MSN about chores and money, and also cooking. While I can teach her somethings, cooking is not my bag, so I will leave that to her dad. However, she can use the microwave quiet well, and she learned that from me!! It was nice for a change to have help, and it was even better that all was finished without a fight or a struggle about her summer schedule! Who knew that all I had to do was ask for help!! I might have gotten to bed earlier!!

Show on tv

Last night as I was flipping thru channels on the tv, I came across a show that caught my attention on A & E. The show is called Intervention. While I am lucky to not have a person close to me that has a serious addiction to drugs, I found this show to be a total eye opening experience to a real serious problem in the US. While the show is extremely graphic and real life experiences are involved, it opened my eyes to alot more than drug addiction and alcoholism. The show presented family members that were trying desperately to help their troubled family members by allowing themselves to be totally taken advantage of because of their love and devotion to their family member with the addiction. The show follows the everyday addicted family member, and then collects the family members to stage an Intervention. During the intervention, a counselor meets with the addicts family to discuss the intervention. The counselor advises the family that most of them are not helping the addict because they love them to much to put consequences on their actions, which in turn, allows the addict to continue their behavior. The counselor advises the family to write a letter to the addict stating the reasons for their disapproval of their addiction and the consequences of their behavior on them.
This show allowed me to see that when you make bad choices in child rearing, it is a disaster. Children learn that there are no consequences for their bad behavior and they continue to behave in a bad way the rest of their life. When the one girl involved on the show was a product of divorce, she used drugs and alcohol to soothe her emotions ,and her addiction spiraled out of control until the counselor advised the family to let her hit the bottom. Once the girl lost her family, her job, her friends, and almost her life, she went to counseling and got the needed help. It took years, but she managed to kick her habit, thus returning her to her family in the end. My question to this is why the parent's took so long to hold the girl accountable for her bad behavior. It is possible that love caused this to happen, but I have always been the type of person that thinks that a person is responsible for their life. If they make bad choices, then you have to let them live with them. As the old saying goes.."if you go to bed with dogs, you get fleas"...I think that more parents should practice the "tough love" method. From my past experience, it is the only way to make a person change. While it is hard, it is the only way that works!! Allowing adults and teenagers to terrorize a family by their behavior with no consequences is a proven failure. I think that anyone with an addiction or anyone that is dealing with a loved one with an addiction should watch this show. It is also a good show to watch if you have teenagers that are going to the dark side with hanging with bad people. Life is about choices. Some things happen that are bad in life, but in order to survive, it is crucial to learn and teach that there is consequences for everything in life, even with a family that loves you...have a great day!

I survived the dentist!!!

I had my jaw tooth extracted yesterday, and I actually feel better today!! I opted out of the surgery and braved the procedure with just the numbing shots..after 8 shots, the dentist finally got it out!! The roots were huge..he said it was no wonder that I was in pain because the roots were sitting on a nerve in my jaw. Believe it or not, I can breathe better too! Who knew?? It is so wrong that you have to have three insurance consultations before you can actually get something done! I guess they are unconcerned with your pain or comfort level! It actually took 5 months to get an appointment to have the extraction! What a crock!! I definitely voiced my disgust with the health care system, but I know that I am only one in a million, so I doubt the complaints will be taken seriously. Typical! What happened to the good old days when you could get a consultation and a procedure all in one visit?? Times are changing. Everything is such a disaster here in the US. You pay thousands for insurance for your family and it seems that you are not afforded the services that are bought and paid for here. However, if you are uninsured, you sail thru the system...free to boot!!
I had a first hand experience last month when I went in for my yearly mammogram. After paying my co pay and waiting over an hour, a illegal immigrant came into the room. An elderly lady and I watched in horror as she was taken back for her mammogram without insurance or even a copay. We sat for hours while she was put in front of us and treated like a first class citizen! In the meantime, we are tax paying Americans and we are denied service for it!! I have nothing against people who are poor in our country, but why should I be treated differently because I pay my taxes and pay for my insurance, and I am a citizen of this country. What is wrong with this picture?? No wonder our country is in financial ruins!! And don't even get me started on SS in the US!! I'll save that for another day!! Have a great weekend!!

New haircuts!

We were busy today! T and I got up early this am and went shopping. At around 10 am, we decided to get our hair cut. My hair is short and I like it a lot. Since summer began, I have been pulling my hair back in a ponytail, and I was getting tired of looking the same..well, no more!! HA! The good thing about short hair is that it makes me look younger, at least that is what everyone has told me today! T on the other hand, got a shoulder length cut. Now, she is complaining that she wants her hair shorter!! So unlike her, but I told her I would take her back to get it shorter if she wants, so we will see! As for my hubby, he was very upset that I got my hair cut! He does not like my hair short, and the only time I get it short is when I get really mad at him, so this is one time when that is not the case. I told him that maybe it would grow on him, if not, oh well. I can make my own decisions. Our anniversary is Friday!! 16 years. You would think that would be long enough for him to know that I am an Independent woman!!! It did not take long for that argument to blow over!! Tomorrow is my tooth extraction..fun!! Have a great day!!

A few photo's..Finally!!!

A few photo's ..1.Bear in his "Santa" suit
2. My flowers and landscape..plants are bigger now..but this is the beginning!
3. T's birthday cake , and 4. T at her birthday party..after the "Rock" party at the house with her friends!! I had promised to post a few photo's, but just got them downloaded because I had to use another camera!!! Oh well, better late than never, huh???

Happy 4th of July!!!!!!!!

Happy 4th of July!! Today we are having a cookout. It is really hot here and the weather forecast says rain, but it isn't cloudy at all, so maybe we won't miss the foreworks! We did go to the Braves game last night, but the sad news is they lost the game. We were exiting the park at the top of the ninth inning, and they finally scored 1 run!! Sadly, we missed the run!! Oh well, it was entertaining for the most part. T really enjoyed herself and got her "foam" finger, so that was worth the trip!!
Have a Happy 4th! Also, Happy birthday, Christine!!

Saturday

Last night I won a karoke contest at a local resturant...I got 4 tickets to a Brave's game on the night of fireworks, etc. for the July 4th weekend!! I was shocked, so was my husband and daughter that I actually competed and won!! Too funny!! I did the Lights song by Journey as a dare, and somehow, it worked. The DJ did not have any "chick" songs, so it was a toss up between Journey and Kansas, so I just pretended I was back in college driving alone singing with the radio!! After I finished the song, I realized that my legs were shaking!! It has been a while for me in front of a crowd. I had flash backs of singing in the church choir as a child!!
Today we didn't do much. It was hot and we got some rain, so we had meals out and watched some movies. Sometimes, it is good to have some down time! I have been running all week, so I welcomed the break!! I was also thankful that I didn't have to cook, which is always a plus! I have had a sinus headache for two days now, so I took some benedryl and read a book "If I am missing or dead". The book was a true story about domestic violence and how it affected a family when their sister was killed. It was really sad, but an interesting read. Mom gave me the book when she was here, and I have to admit that it was very hard to get into, but I managed to read it in two days. It is time to go to the bookstore now. I am all out of books, and for some reason, I need to read to relax these days.
We have plans to go to my brother-in-law's birthday party tomorrow, so that should be fun, as long as the rain holds off!
T is begging to change schools next year, so we are considering letting her make the move for two years, and then putting her back in a private school for high school..decisions are never easy, but i think she might be ready for a change for a few years. Nothing is definate yet, so I will be posting the decision soon. Hope everyone has a great weekend.